[Eddie_G]

Thanks for the concern but I live 10 minutes from The World Trade Center. I smelled the plastic and the bodies burning on 9/11. I'm living in pain, I refuse to live in fear too.

What color alert are we today? Puce? Lavander? It doesn't matter to me. Once it does, the terrorists win.

Pretty soon we'll all have to fly naked.



Last year I flew to Orlando and on the way home I put my boarding pass in the bin (OHHHH NOOOOO) so I was red flagged for double secret search.

Security Guard: "Hrumph Hrumph! Sit down and raise your legs!! Hrumph Hrumph! "

Ed: "I can't"

Security Guard: "WHAT!?! Hrumph Hrumph! You HAVE to lift your legs! Hrumph Hrumph!"

*Note that I was wearing sandals*

Ed: "I can't. I just had surgery and I'm in pain sitting. Raising my legs is excruciating"

Security Guard: "Hrumph Hrumph! STAND UP! Hrumph Hrumph!"

*I slowly stand up*

Security Guard: "Hrumph Hrumph! What THIS! Hrumph Hrumph!"

*Guard runs wand over my belt buckle*

Wand: "Whooo Weeeee Whooopp Whooooo Whoopp"

Ed: 'That's my belt buckle"

Security Guard: "Hrumph Hrumph! Well UNDO it! Hrumph Hrumph!"

*Note I was wearing BIG baggy shorts, so as soon as my belt buckle was loosened my shorts fell straight to the floor exposing "my junk" (Twig & berries to our English friends). With my severe pain, I was not about to bend over NOR was I about to do the pants-around-the-ankles waddle to the chair, so I just stood there......naked. It took the guard a few moments before he realized that I wasn't embarassed, I wasn't picking up my shorts, and was in fact turning towards the line of people so everyone got a good look at my twig & berries. I was really laughing hard on the inside, and my girlfriend was behind me practically in tears from laughing herself. The guard finally picked up my shorts for me and told me to get the heck out of here, clearly flustered and angry.*

That was fun but trains are so much nicer...