"This extract is taken from a newsletter written by Jan Sadler of PainSupport,
www.painsupport.co.uk.
“I can’t do it.” How often do we say those four little words? It’s normal to feel uncertain when faced with a new challenge. But the changes in our lifestyle as a result of having long-term pain tend to shake our confidence and self esteem. By using those four words we make things much harder for ourselves.
Ease from the East
To eliminate stress and balance your emotions, try this technique from the ancient Japanese therapy of Jin shin Jyutsu. It can be done anywhere without anyone noticing what you are doing. This makes it great for moments of stress if in the company of others.
Hold the fourth and fifth fingers of your left hand between the thumb and fingers of your right hand. Your thumb should be on the palm side of your left hand.
Gently squeeze for about a minute, keeping an awareness of the gentle pressure.
Then reverse for the other hand.
Notice the difference in how you feel.
Natural Health Tip
Here’s a good example. I first had some physiotherapy some years ago. I noticed that every time the physiotherapist showed me a new exercise I said, "I can't do that". She immediately said, "Yes you can". And, lo and behold, I could! She'd given me the confidence to try.
Using the word ‘can't’ can seriously crush any confidence you do have. As Henry Ford once said,
"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right!"
He knew that if you keep telling yourself you can't do something it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your subconscious believes whatever you tell it and so acts upon it. Whether it’s trying a new exercise, explaining your medical history, tackling a computer program, or going out on a visit. Automatically to tell yourself you can’t do something practically ensures you won’t be able to!
When we have pain in our lives we have to face many new challenges. As a result, our confidence can take a knock. We may feel that much of what was ‘us’ has been lost, we may feel diminished and ‘less of a person’. We need to rebuild our lives so that our confidence and self-esteem can flourish and our sense of ourselves be enhanced.
This is why it's so important to build confidence into your day. Try these tips to increase your confidence and self esteem:
1. Instead of saying, "I can't do that", try saying instead, "I'll give it a go".
2. Recall an achievement you are particularly proud of, and think about how you coped with that. Recall your success next time you're faced with a challenging task. It will help to build your confidence and self esteem.
3. Sit and stand up straight! Having a good posture will automatically help you feel more confident. If your body droops, your spirits droop. Try it and notice the difference in how you feel.
4. Think of new projects and areas of interest to investigate to replace those you may have lost. Include contact with other people if at all possible.
5. Set yourself some simple goals that are within easy reach so that you can achieve success often and easily. Make some longer term goals to give yourself something to aim for in the future.
Finally, turn "I can't" into "Yes, I can!"
Visualisation for Confidence
Here's another fantastic way to improve your confidence:
Close your eyes and imagine that tomorrow morning when you wake up you will have all the confidence you need. See yourself waking up, stretching gently and beginning to move about your day. You feel totally confident and calm in every situation. And then examine the feelings you generated more closely:
- Sense how your face is relaxed and glowing with confidence.
- Notice that when you speak you speak confidently and calmly.
- Notice how you move. You're walking and sitting tall, moving your body freely and comfortably.
- You tackle a challenging area in your life. You notice how you handle it now, full of confidence.
- You also notice that when explaining, for example, your medical condition, you are listened to carefully and with respect.
- See yourself moving, talking and going about your day brimming with confidence. You feel amazing!
- Now, when you have a really powerful feeling of confidence, firmly press together your thumb and first finger. Hold them pressed together while you feel strongly confident. Then release them.
- Open your eyes when you’re ready, and bring the confident feelings back with you.
Do make the effort to use this exercise now - you'll be delighted with your results! Use it often.
Use this idea when, in the future, you need an extra surge of confidence. Press your thumb and forefinger together again to bring back those feelings of confidence you felt during your visualisation.
NB The more detail you include, the more powerful this visualisation will be.
www.painsupport.co.uk