[annapurna]

As my lbp increases and I simultaneously become more and more reluctant to pursue any additional medical treatment (I've done it all, it seems), I'm starting to have a serious change of heart concerning medical treatment for my spine. Up to this point, I've assumed that medical treatment, be it restorative surgery or pain management was intended to allow me to "live my life" despite the fact that I have degenerative arthritis. Now I'm weighing the merits of living my life around my back instead. I mean, what is intrinsically wrong with simply "living on the couch"? My husband makes more than enough money to support me if I could no longer work, and I have no children or elderly relatives to take care of. I could still read my scriptures and good literature, pray, and maintain social contacts via the internet even if I were bed-ridden. True, I'd miss my job, the mountains, travel to see family, church, etc. if I were to get to that point, but I'm sure that, after awhile life on the couch would seem normal and I would not miss those things anymore.

I guess I'm posing this question more from a "moral-ethical" standpoint. Prior to this week, I've more or less assumed that I had a responsibility inasfar as I was financially and emotionally capable to pursue the highest level of physical capability I could in order to contribute to my family, community, church, society, etc. Now I'm questioning that premise. Can't I contribute somehow even if I never leave my home? If my husband or family had to help me care for myself and my home because I refused to consider any additional medical treatment, would that be somehow selfish?

I know that these seem like odd (if not useless) questions, but they have been factoring heavily in my own personal risk analysis and I never even realized it. Wonder if that is true for others as well?